It is strange how being 35,000 feet in the air can give me some much needed perspective. I find that the flight anywhere can be relaxing, but over the desert in the southwest I seem to be even more contemplative than normal. Is this because there are so many childhood memories wrapped in the view from this tiny airplane window? I find myself eargly sitting forard to peer outside as if at any momen tI will find myself aware of my surroundings. Ironically, if the pilot had not told me we were passing Mt. San Jacinto, I would never have known! It looks welcoming from the air. I know it not to be so. As we continue, I think I may see Yucaipa and I am again overwhelmed by a wave of memories. I’m grateful I did not sit on the other side of the plane and have to come face to face (so to speak) with even more intimidating memories. I will be thankful to be in a plane headed to Fresno where nothing is familiar.
Then, I start to wonder if this is a normal occurrent – wondering where life might have taken me…us…if events had unfolded differently. Is it arrogance or faith that makes me assume that life turned out exactly as it should have and how is it that people get to that point in their lives where they have no regrets? I don’t have many and I’m not even sure I would classify them as regrets…maybe just “what-ifs?” I can’t imagine my life without David and Stephen and Anna, but am I a little nostalgic and curious of what might have been? Of course, I suppose that is part of human nature.
On the other hand…be thrilled with what you have and don’t wonder why might have been is great advice too.
Ambivalently yours!